.Midnight Mantis.

I dreamt of you last night.
I don’t remember where we were, but it was inside. We were laying on a brown carpet naked. We made love. And it was amazing. You laid your head on my chest, listening to my rapid heart beat. And feeling the way my chest moved up and down as I breathed. I cradled your head in my hands. And you said you loved me. I said I loved you too.

Quick dream.
I dreamt that I was driving to a mans house with one of my friends. I was looking at this house because it was being sold and I wanted to buy it. We snuck inside and looked on the mans computer and he had a ton of transsexual porn all over it. We ran out of the house just as he was pulling up on his motorcycle. We drive away but he followed us all around town. After running in to him at least five times I finally went over to his house and he pulled up beside me and I apologized and we went inside and we had make up sex and became a couple who would always watch transsexual porn together and touch each other.

Let me start from the beginning. I was watching a hotel room. I was almost a ghost. Maybe I was watching it like it was on tv. Anyways, a couple walked in. I forget what they were wearing, but the woman was incredible intoxicated and drugged up. She was skinny and frail. The man took her into the bathroom and sat on the toilet with her on his lap. She went limp and he started to get scared and scream. Vomit began to spew from her mouth, projectile. It came out of her nose and soon turned red, the vomit turned to blood as she started throwing up her insides. There were guts everywhere. The man screamed at the top of his lungs and threw her dead lifeless body around the bathroom. Swearing at her for dying. He ripped the toilet from the floor and did the same with the sink. He smashed the mirror and slit his wrists with it.
Then the dream changed, I was inside the destroyed room with another girl. We were friends apparently. She told me I had been passed out for at least fifteen minutes. She had woken up in this room next to me. We don’t know how we got there or why we were here. We got up and looked around. There was blood in the bathroom and old vomit from the previous victims. We tried opening the windows and doors everything was locked. We grabbed the empty drawers from the dresser and began smashing them into the window. We finally broke it. But we’re reluctant to just crawl out. We found a broom and began to poke it out the window in case there were any traps. Sure enough there were, a huge blade came down an sliced the broom in half. We sat down contemplating what we should do. I became queasy staring at the mixture of vomit chunks and blood all over the floor and began throwing up. The girl I was with lost it and started crying and screaming. I don’t understand why. I was the one getting sick and dying, not her. Then there was a bang at our door. A man came in and said, “I’ve finally found you guys.” he was in another room and had a note tied to him. It said he had to find the last two survivors and try to escape. He had smashed so many doors in the hotel looking for us that his shoulders were bruised and he was limping. We talked about possible ways to escape. Then out of nowhere the second toilet in the bathroom exploded. Sewage and filth erupted into the room. We panicked and I trapped the curtain rod in the bathroom I smashed a second window. And I started tearing at the screen on it to get out. Then the man said, “here let me help. Hold my baby chicks I’ll do the rest.” he pulled three baby chicks out of his pocket and I held them. Me and my friend cried because we were so close to freedom. He held the curtain rod out the window to see if another blade would come. When it didn’t he helped us out. The last frame of the dream was us sitting outside the window on a log. Dirty, tired and pale. But alive none the less.

I’m sad. Then again, I’m always sad. If it isn’t one thing it’s another. The weathers been great. And I don’t even want to go outside. He says I’m the reason why he’s fat. “everything was fine before I got a lazy girlfriend.” Then why are you even with me. It’s like you don’t like anything about me. You hate that I don’t always want to do the things you want to.

To see a shark in your dream indicates feelings of anger, hostility, and fierceness. You are undergoing a long and difficult emotional period and may be an emotional threat to yourself or to others. Perhaps, you are struggling with your individuality and independence, especially in some aspect of your relationship. Alternatively, a shark represents a person in your life who is greedy and unscrupulous. This person goes after what he or she wants with no regards to the well-being and sensitivity of others. The shark may also be an aspect of your own personality with these qualities.

To see a penguin in your dream signifies that your problems are not as serious as you may think. It serves as a reminder for you to keep your cool and remain level-headed. Alternatively, seeing a penguin in your dream suggests that you are being weighed down by your emotions or by a negative situation. You need to find some balance and inner harmony.

To see a polar bear in your dream signifies a reawakening. Alternatively, the polar bear symbolizes your frigid and cold emotions.

To see an antelope in your dream suggests that your high ambitions will only be achieved through a great expenditure of energy. You will experience much success as a result of your dedication. Alternatively, the dream may be telling you to flee or retreat from some situation.

To see an antelope collapse in your dream means that you are at fault for a broken-up love affair.

I messed up. I’ve messed up big time.
I’m completely disconnected from the people I love. I honestly feel like I don’t even know them anymore. It’s my fault. I know it is. I’m woman enough to admit it. I’m disappointed in what I’ve done, in what I’ve become. At this point in my life, I’m completely falling apart. And I don’t know what I can do to fix this.

I hold your naked body close to mine. Your body shakes with anticipation. I whisper in your ear, “everything’s fine.” I reach down below with one intention.

I put my fingers deep inside of you. You close your eyes and drift in the moment. All your wildest dreams are coming true. Clear your mind and you will get into it.

I bite your stomach with my hardest force. You arch your back and scream so wildly. I grab you from behind with no recourse.

Then I fuck your pussy so violently. After we have finished I kiss your breast. And use my hands to play with the rest.

Breannas my girlfriend
With beautiful brown eyes
And booty so round
She can get all the guys
But she’s all mine
I love to hold her
And make her feel fine
She laughs so cute
And smiles do big
When I call her a beaut
And choke out a nig

I guess there really is a time when every captain has to set sail. Tighten his ropes, open his sails and trust the winds and currents. Risk his boat, the security of land and sanity. Saying thank you’s, see you layers and good byes. Facing the reality of solitude and chance of being lost and forgotten. Being a young man who has the passion to trust the waters and believe that whatever happens is meant to, the water and I will be.
More so, the joy of chance and challenge. The bliss along side the memories, never will I forget. A captains dedication, his heart and soul and drive. That soul YOU swam after and for, and caught. It was you that I sailed for and hoped for. We dove deep, chancing odds. Praying for safety and comfort. We swam and will swim, together through thoughts and heartbeats, hand in hand. Through the harshest currents and easiest tides.
“I’ve never felt this sort of mental connection to anyone, except you.”
It was with you when I became comfortable with myself, my mind, thoughts and body. You brought that out of me, in the most soothing and right way. No one will ever do what you did for me, and how you loved me.
I can’t believe it’s time. Time for me to set my sail for now. You know just what I feel about time, I guess you were right. It’s the acceptance and respect for the clock and it’s hands. No, it doesn’t have feelings for anyone. I’ve learned that it’s just that, the acceptance. You taught me that. All I do is thank you. Thank you for sailing with me, holding my hand and cradling my heart that leaks your blood. It’s never goodbye with you, we never said that and never will. I promise you darlin’, I’m here. Right here inside you, tapping on your warm heart for hugs and smiles. Right here inside you, begging to cuddle again. Hold me tighter please, let me kiss your nose and forehead. Let me rub your sides and bury my face in your tummy again. And let our lips meet again while we lay and let our eyes sink into each others thoughts. Rest your head on my chest again, kiss my chin some more. Have me again, let me have you again, let us love again. God knows we’ve missed it. Remember me again, don’t lose my face. I know you won’t, you promised.
I miss you more than you’ll ever know. Right now, I miss you more than I ever have before. Whether its this second, half an hour from now, tonight, tomorrow, or next year, I’ll always love you with every ounce of myself. Every drop of blood an smear of tear is for you, there you are tapping on my hearts home again. I feel you knocking, I’m safe again. You are safe again, the only thing I ever wanted. Safe in my soul, my spirit, my world and dreams. Dream of me again, won’t you?
My Mantis, My Rose, My Orcus, My Heart, My Sailor, the love of my life. Thank you for listening, caring, comforting, trusting, sharing, holding, and loving me. You are my everything. Let’s sail now to a new land. Our land, our place, our sea. Let’s swim now, to a new land. Holding hands kicking toes. Riding the waves like we should, like we always have and will. I’m setting sail for now, how soon is now though? Not that long. I’ll meet you where we know we’re suppose to be.
With you,
I can’t sink, not ever.
“I love you. I know I always will. I promise this to you. And I know that’s a promise I’ll always keep to you.” I love you. My love always, we sail on.

I miss you more and more each day it seems….
The wave won’t stop and I’m ready for some time with you on land.
A year ago we met,
I guess the clock won’t slow.
I am ready to hold you again Sailor.
I’ll see you soon.
Until then, follow my current.
Love always,
Captain Orcus..